Came across this story here about Max Hardberger, the guy who makes his living stealing back boats stolen by pirates. Pirating pirated ships is like being a double-pirate, therefore that makes him pretty much awesome already, but reading some of his exploits should have Hollywood lining up to get this guys life into a movie.
Over the years, he's distracted crews with prostitutes and witch doctors, bribed officials to look the other way, conned Russian mobsters and hidden from naval radar by riding out thunderstorms at sea; he's even taken a 10,000-tonne freighter out of Haiti while the 2004 revolution was going on around him.
Here's a guy you'll never be as awesome as
All that and he's never failed to take a boat back.
Oh and he also has an English degree from the University of New Orleans, an MA in poetry and fiction from the Writers' Workshop at the University of Iowa (one of the best creative-writing programs in the US), has a law degree from the University of Northern California, and has taught English and history at high school.